• Family

    From Avon@21:1/101 to All on Sat Feb 4 10:12:10 2023
    Seems to be a time of change in our family.

    My youngest son is moving away to another city and leaves today. This is his first time living outside he spent most of his life growing up in and will be at the other end of the country i.e. you need to fly or spend several days driving to get from us to him. I will miss him when he leaves. At 22 and with a girlfriend and a job to go to, he's off on his next adventure.

    My parents just had their 58th wedding anniversary yesterday. Mum is now in hospital level care with dementia in a rest home and her health is failing quickly. It's hard to imagine what it was like for them yesterday with the knowledge that this may be their last anniversary together. I talk to my Dad each day, he also lives a couple of airline flights away from me. Video calling has been a saviour in being able to support him from afar.

    My wife and I will visit my parents in a few weeks. I suspect it will be the last time I will see Mum alive. My rational brain gets this, this train has been rolling for a few years now. My emotional brain gets it too... but at times it gets it less... ah emotional brain... how you can pop up out of nowhere at times and remind me I'm human :)

    I write this on a warm, blue sky, sunny morning... summer is in full swing here, we actually are in the mid of a mini heatwave for this part of the country over the next several days. It's clam outside, the dog is lying on the floor next to me. I'm waiting for my son to come back from his flat inspection so we can have a final few hours together before he starts his 3-4 days drive north.

    Do you think there are times in your life where it just seems there's a ton of change that seems to happen almost all at once? At the moment that feels the way for me. New manager at work, many 10+ year work colleagues leaving or have left, family stuff (mentioned above) and on it goes.

    I'm not complaining, just a bit exhausted. I think many of us are after the last few years. It's nice to have a hobby you can dabble in/out of when you want. Keeps things fun and helps you stay sane :)

    Kerr Avon [Blake's 7] 'I'm not expendable, I'm not stupid and I'm not going' avon[at]bbs.nz | bbs.nz | fsxnet.nz

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  • From Gamgee@21:2/138 to Avon on Fri Feb 3 16:01:00 2023
    Avon wrote to All <=-

    Seems to be a time of change in our family.

    My youngest son is moving away to another city and leaves today.
    This is his first time living outside he spent most of his life
    growing up in and will be at the other end of the country i.e.
    you need to fly or spend several days driving to get from us to
    him. I will miss him when he leaves. At 22 and with a girlfriend
    and a job to go to, he's off on his next adventure.

    My parents just had their 58th wedding anniversary yesterday. Mum
    is now in hospital level care with dementia in a rest home and
    her health is failing quickly. It's hard to imagine what it was
    like for them yesterday with the knowledge that this may be their
    last anniversary together. I talk to my Dad each day, he also
    lives a couple of airline flights away from me. Video calling has
    been a saviour in being able to support him from afar.

    My wife and I will visit my parents in a few weeks. I suspect it
    will be the last time I will see Mum alive. My rational brain
    gets this, this train has been rolling for a few years now. My
    emotional brain gets it too... but at times it gets it less... ah emotional brain... how you can pop up out of nowhere at times and
    remind me I'm human :)

    I write this on a warm, blue sky, sunny morning... summer is in
    full swing here, we actually are in the mid of a mini heatwave
    for this part of the country over the next several days. It's
    clam outside, the dog is lying on the floor next to me. I'm
    waiting for my son to come back from his flat inspection so we
    can have a final few hours together before he starts his 3-4 days
    drive north.

    Do you think there are times in your life where it just seems
    there's a ton of change that seems to happen almost all at once?
    At the moment that feels the way for me. New manager at work,
    many 10+ year work colleagues leaving or have left, family stuff (mentioned above) and on it goes.

    Yes, there certainly do seem to be times in life where that seems to
    happen, probably to everybody. I have been through a couple of those
    periods myself, one of which involved losing a parent to dementia, also.
    Having the kids "leave the nest" is also difficult, but should be seen
    as a positive step forward, I think. It means you've done your job
    well. ;-) I feel for what you're going through, and hope you come out
    on the other side of it as well as possible. I think you will!

    I'm not complaining, just a bit exhausted. I think many of us are
    after the last few years. It's nice to have a hobby you can
    dabble in/out of when you want. Keeps things fun and helps you
    stay sane :)

    Yes, many people are tired out from world events the last few years.
    100% agree on the importance of having something like a hobby to give
    one a break now and then.

    Hope you can stay positive and move forward through the difficulties.
    You have many friends in this hobby that are always "here".


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  • From apam@21:1/182 to Avon on Sat Feb 4 18:55:00 2023
    On Sat Feb 4 10:12:00 2023, Avon wrote to All <=-

    Do you think there are times in your life where it just seems there's a ton of change that seems to happen almost all at once? At the moment that feels the way for me. New manager at work, many 10+ year work colleagues leaving or have left, family stuff (mentioned above) and on it goes.


    it's not the same but i've been back in second life for over a month now and while i had a short visit in 2014 i havent really been active since 2010. seeing names i remember and finding out about those who have passed in the mean time. Seeing all the changes to the platform, the interests of those who use it etc seems a bit overwhelming.

    Second life has a lot of older users as well as unhealthy users, which i think is something shared with this hobby. as time goes by the familiar faces pass it makes me understand why so many elderly face depression.

    I'm not complaining, just a bit exhausted. I think many of us are after the last few years. It's nice to have a hobby you can dabble in/out of when you want. Keeps things fun and helps you stay sane :)


    it does i suppose although my interest in bbsing has gone for the time being i stick around for the familarity of the people here.

    andrew

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  • From Nightfox@21:1/137 to apam on Sat Feb 4 01:26:23 2023
    Re: Family
    By: apam to Avon on Sat Feb 04 2023 06:55 pm

    it's not the same but i've been back in second life for over a month now and while i had a short visit in 2014 i havent really been active since 2010. seeing names i remember and finding out about those who have passed in the mean time. Seeing all the changes to the platform, the interests of those who use it etc seems a bit overwhelming.

    I used to use Second Life years ago but haven't done anything significant with it since 2014. I think I logged in briefly a couple years ago but didn't really do much of anything. One thing I always thought was odd about it was it seemed most people on there didn't want to talk about their real life. I wondered if it was probably that they were married in real life and were looking to chea on their partner in there or something. That definitely seemed to be the case with some people.

    Nightfox
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  • From Dr. What@21:1/616 to Avon on Sat Feb 4 08:13:40 2023
    Avon wrote to All <=-

    My youngest son is moving away to another city and leaves today. This
    is his first time living outside he spent most of his life growing up
    in and will be at the other end of the country i.e. you need to fly or spend several days driving to get from us to him. I will miss him when
    he leaves.

    I'm the oldest in my family and mom cried when I got that first "real" job
    that would take me away.

    Compare that to my youngest brother where mom effectively said "When are you getting out of here?"


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  • From Avon@21:1/101 to Gamgee on Sun Feb 5 19:41:21 2023
    On 03 Feb 2023 at 04:01p, Gamgee pondered and said...

    Yes, there certainly do seem to be times in life where that seems to happen, probably to everybody. I have been through a couple of those periods myself, one of which involved losing a parent to dementia, also.

    Yep I agree, re parent with dementia.. it feels like a long goodbye but just not sure when it ends..

    Having the kids "leave the nest" is also difficult, but should be seen
    as a positive step forward, I think. It means you've done your job
    well. ;-) I feel for what you're going through, and hope you come out
    on the other side of it as well as possible. I think you will!

    Thank you, appreciate your best wishes and kind thoughts.

    Kerr Avon [Blake's 7] 'I'm not expendable, I'm not stupid and I'm not going' avon[at]bbs.nz | bbs.nz | fsxnet.nz

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  • From Avon@21:1/101 to apam on Sun Feb 5 19:45:29 2023
    On 04 Feb 2023 at 06:55p, apam pondered and said...

    it's not the same but i've been back in second life for over a month now and while i had a short visit in 2014 i havent really been active since 2010. seeing names i remember and finding out about those who have
    passed in the mean time. Seeing all the changes to the platform, the interests of those who use it etc seems a bit overwhelming.

    I've never used it so can't really relate other than to agree when you go away and come back to something after a period of time, things do change.

    Second life has a lot of older users as well as unhealthy users, which i think is something shared with this hobby. as time goes by the familiar

    Not sure what you deem as unhealthy but I agree all communities (in life / virtual) have a mix of people and personalities and more..

    faces pass it makes me understand why so many elderly face depression.

    I'm learning it's important to keep social connections and have a number of interests to help mitigate that. But I also think depression can come along at any age and some of the triggers may be about for all of our lives. Hopefully we're resilient for most of life to navigate those waters.

    I'm not complaining, just a bit exhausted. I think many of us are after last few years. It's nice to have a hobby you can dabble in/out of when want. Keeps things fun and helps you stay sane :)

    it does i suppose although my interest in bbsing has gone for the time being i stick around for the familarity of the people here.

    Fair enough... nice to see a post from you... and thanks for the chat :)

    Kerr Avon [Blake's 7] 'I'm not expendable, I'm not stupid and I'm not going' avon[at]bbs.nz | bbs.nz | fsxnet.nz

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  • From Avon@21:1/101 to Dr. What on Sun Feb 5 19:45:49 2023
    On 04 Feb 2023 at 08:13a, Dr. What pondered and said...

    I'm the oldest in my family and mom cried when I got that first "real"
    job that would take me away.

    :)

    Compare that to my youngest brother where mom effectively said "When are you getting out of here?"

    :) :)

    Kerr Avon [Blake's 7] 'I'm not expendable, I'm not stupid and I'm not going' avon[at]bbs.nz | bbs.nz | fsxnet.nz

    --- Mystic BBS v1.12 A48 (Linux/64)
    * Origin: Agency BBS | Dunedin, New Zealand | agency.bbs.nz (21:1/101)
  • From claw@21:1/210 to Avon on Mon Feb 6 07:55:12 2023
    My youngest son is moving away to another city and leaves today. This is his first time living outside he spent most of his life growing up in
    and will be at the other end of the country i.e. you need to fly or
    spend several days driving to get from us to him. I will miss him when
    he leaves. At 22 and with a girlfriend and a job to go to, he's off on
    his next adventure.

    I have 2 sons both young still. I don't know how I will feel. On on had they cost a ton. On the other I don't think I would want them to go so I would be really mix feeling on it. I know it will happen eventually but for how there 13 and 11. I will just enjoy the last few year I have. At least in your case hes not alone. You know there is someone that will call if need be and watch out for each other.

    My wife and I will visit my parents in a few weeks. I suspect it will be the last time I will see Mum alive. My rational brain gets this, this train has been rolling for a few years now. My emotional brain gets it too... but at times it gets it less... ah emotional brain... how you can pop up out of nowhere at times and remind me I'm human :)

    I'm sorry to hear this. Seems like time stops for you and the world it self speeds up. For me when these things happen my brain refuses to accept it for what can be days to a week. Then its all real all at once and it awful. I pray for you an your mom. Be there for your dad. It's the quiet times that get to you. Our family has had a lot of death in it so I am very aware of the issues that arise. Extra video calls.

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