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  • Forbidden Colors

    From Anal Scordanal@1:379/45 to All on Sat May 26 05:12:58 2007
    From: Anal Scordanal <fake@fake.fake>

    FORBIDDEN COLORS

    Memo to All Staff:

    Wearing certain colors can be upsetting to other employees or to clients. Therefore, here is a list of forbidden colors, with explanations.

    Blue: This color is forbidden because it is sometimes associated with sadness and depression, as in "feeling blue" or "having the blues." It is also associated with vulgarity as in "blue humor."

    Red: This color may encourage violence in the workplace due to the fact that it
    is the color of blood. It is also forbidden because this color is sometimes associated with Communists and the Republican party, both of which are known to
    offend some people.

    Yellow: This color is forbidden because it is associated with cowardice, and that is not the proper image we wish to project.

    Green: This is the color of rancid food, and may upset some people who have had
    bad experiences with such.

    Orange: This color is absolutely off limits due to the fact that it is the color
    of prison uniforms. We cannot permit our employees to look like escaped convicts.

    Purple: This color is forbidden because it is sometimes thought of as a "gay pride" color, and therefore may be offensive to homophobes.

    Brown: Besides being the color of excrement, this color also presents the problem of sounding like "Braun", which was the last name of the woman who married Adolph Hitler.

    Black: This color could be associated with the Black Plague or black magic, and
    western movie villains. We certainly cannot allow our employees to dress like villains, and any black clothing is absolutely forbidden.

    Gray: This color was worn by Confederate soldiers in the Civil War, and therefore could be construed by some as projecting a pro-slavery message.

    White: This is the color worn by the Ku Klux Klan. We cannot allow employees to
    look like Klansmen, so all clothing in this color is strictly prohibited.

    All employees must adhere to our organization's dress code, and not wear any of
    the above colors.

    Sincerely,

    Anal Scordanal

    --- BBBS/NT v4.01 Flag-5
    * Origin: FidoNet MONTE <--> alt.fan.monty-python (1:379/45)
  • From Hazel@1:379/45 to Anal Scordanal on Sat May 26 03:20:58 2007
    From: Hazel <drama_fez@yahoo.co.uk>

    Er. What about pink? Or transparent latex, is that all right?

    --- BBBS/NT v4.01 Flag-5
    * Origin: FidoNet MONTE <--> alt.fan.monty-python (1:379/45)
  • From Anal Scordanal@1:379/45 to Hazel on Sat May 26 16:40:56 2007
    From: Anal Scordanal <fake@fake.fake>

    Hazel wrote:

    } Er. What about pink?

    Pink is not acceptable. Corporations often notify workers of employment termination by issuing a "pink slip." The sight of the color pink could bring out unpleasant memories for people who have lost jobs, and is therefore forbidden.

    } Or transparent latex, is that all right?

    If you look okay in it, transparent latex is fine.

    --- BBBS/NT v4.01 Flag-5
    * Origin: FidoNet MONTE <--> alt.fan.monty-python (1:379/45)